Thoughts on Aging and Moments of Grace

Owls guard the entrance to Herald Square in New York City.   They remind me to be wise and to attend to those things that bring wisdom to my life.

I have been slow to write this week.  I have been impacted by the health decline of my almost 86 year old mother, Donna.  My sisters, brothers-in-law and I all met last weekend to share information on our mother's health and the needs of both parents.  Our 88 year old father, Jim, is the primary caretaker for our mother who has been recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's Dementia.  It is a tough reality for all of us.  I took a trip to Tacoma this week and was able to take our aunt Mary Ann, my mother's only sibling, aged 89, out to dinner.  It was my task to tell her in person and I did.  We sat in stunned silence for a few seconds and then Mary Ann stated that she knows two brilliant people (my mother one of them) who suffered this terrible disease.  She spoke of her friend Jim and my mother. She remembered my mother's fierce bridge playing skills with admiration.  Then she stated that we all get old and die.  We went on to share a wonderful meal with her.  I was so grateful to have spent that time with her and to be able to see her perspective.  She has described herself to me on more than one occasion as fairly unemotional.  I am not sure about that but I think she rides the waves of life more easily than many and certainly more easily than my mother who suffers not only from dementia but also from lifelong anxiety issues.  These anxiety issues are complicating her condition and we are all hopeful that we can help stabilize her decline with some outside help.

I also took a big step in my own aging process this week.  I walked over to the Social Security Office that is just six blocks from my house and found out what I needed to do to sign up for Medicare Part A.  I will be 65 on June 18th and have been inundated with advertisements for Medicare Supplemental plans.  Obviously the world of insurers knows I am turning 65 as well.  Mike turns 65 in August so we are getting a double dose of mail about medicare plans.  Signing up was significantly more simple than I thought and took less time than it did to wait to speak to someone in person.  It was worth the time and the wait was tempered by a conversation I had with another customer who provided comfort and wisdom about living with debilitating illness.  Her husband died of Parkinson's related complications.  She patted my hand, called me "my darling" and told me to take good care.  It was a special moment of time and grace.  I am grateful for all those moments of grace that come as random acts of kindness and compassion.  I believe they are a gift of being open to life.

The Julia butterfly at Desert Botanical Gardens.  Butterflies are such potent symbols of the fragility and beauty of life.

Tomorrow Mike and I are doing the service at our church on Immigration Injustice and I have been reflecting on what I plan to share.  I plan to speak about the women who shared their stories at the Kino Women's Shelter in Nogales, Sonora and how deeply those stories and images of the women settled with me.  I have been thinking about the anxiety I felt before I went to Tucson and embarked on the Immigration Justice journey.  I doubted my ability to be witness to the grim reality that exists for the undocumented immigrants who are desperate to reach our country, to save their families and themselves.  I was changed by the experience and I will always be reminded of the courage and determination that those women showed in the face of incredible danger and odds against their success.  I hold that image as I go through my life and watch the decline of my own parents and remember the death if my daughter and how I have survived as well.

I will return to writing about NYC and my visit there.  I was reminded this morning about an exercise I used to employ when conducting work and family life balance.  It was called the juggler.  Many of us are juggling roles and responsibilities every day and we mostly are fine and skilled with the juggling act.  I know that I am very good at multi-tasking on most days.  When crisis hits it comes often in the form of a box that requires both hands and it is typical that all the balls drop to the ground for awhile as we gently handle the box and what it contains.  It is usually heavy with some kind of weight - physical, emotional, psychical, financial, etc.  This metaphor has helped me and others develop compassion for the complicated business of life and I recalled it this morning and realized that being present in my extended family for the decline of my mother is that box for me right now.  I will settle it gently on some days, but other times, it will need to be carried.

I will end today's somber post with a couple more NYC photos.  One I shared on Facebook but not on this blog.  Mike and I visited Strawberry Fields in Central Park and remembered John Lennon and his beautiful music, witness to many wrongs and his tragic, untimely death.

Remembering John and keeping the spirit of a united world loving in peace.

The night brings counsel, wisdom shared on a plaque in Herald Square as part of the New York Herald.
The publisher was known for his obsession with owls.  If I go back to NYC I will revisit the square.

I am grateful for the reminder that sleep can bring new wisdom.  I wish that for all of you who have been reading and have been remembering hard things that you have faced or are facing.

Be well and imagine.

Thanks for reading.

Lessons Learned in NYC, Part One - Worker Justice

I have decided to write first about what I learned about worker justice issues in NYC and beyond.  I will start by stepping back to my first full day in the city and one of many experiences my colleagues at Cornell University Cooperative Extension in New York City (CUCE-NYC) arranged for me.  They set up a very busy two days of meetings, listening sessions and informal conversations.  I was very fortunate to get time to speak with KC Wagner, who is the Director of Workplace Issues at the Worker Institute in the Industrial and Labor Relations (ILR) School at Cornell University.  The ILR is part of the land grant structure and does a fair bit of work on promoting workplace fairness, health, safety, equity and social justice under the land grant or outreach banner.  I was really impressed because as far as I know, my own land grant university does little in this area.  I had an intense conversation with KC and Emily Mandell, a graduate student, who were working together on the Nanny Training project and who are now engaged with training elder caregivers.

Emily and KC

I will leave it to my reader to follow the weblink to learn more about the Worker Institute and the fine work they are doing.  The ILR was founded in 1945 to help NY workers with collective bargaining and is a leader in work on national and international workplace issues - the focus is very broad.  I love it that some of the work focuses on the workers themselves and not just the people, organizations and institutions that employ them.  This interview helped me shift my focus for this trip to the conditions that blue collar and unskilled workers endure and have for many decades (and I could say centuries).  We may not have called the skilled laborers of the past who built cathedrals, castles, tenement buildings, roads, etc, blue collar but I think there is a parallel.  I also think of the names we have used for people who help with the household work for more affluent classes: drudges, slaves, servants, chorewomen, etc.  The names have often lacked the panache that they deserve.  I digress.

KC excitedly told me about several projects with which she is involved and how she sees her work one of translating research and education into practical applications.  She worked tirelessly on helping establish the Domestic Workers Bill of Rights for NYC.  She is now working with a collaborative that provides a 35 hour training for caregivers, first for Nannies and now includes elder caregivers.  

I realized early in our conversation just how important labor issues were in the state of New York and in the city.  I came into this trip wanting to know more about the conditions that impacted the immigrant population (past and present) and knew that would be one of the themes of this trip.  I was not disappointed.  I will write more about what I learned about the sweatshops and garment industry in another day or two.  For now I am going to focus on the issues that challenge the current immigrants, especially the women who seek work as house cleaners.

She asked me how long I would be in NYC and highly recommended that I arrange to visit people involved in workplace justice issues in Brooklyn.  I learned about one of the only corners in the country where female day laborers gather seeking housecleaning jobs.  It is in Williamsburg, a working class area of Brooklyn.  I was able to contact Yadira Sanchez at the Worker's Justice Project in Brooklyn and she invited me to come meet her in Williamsburg.  I offered to take her out to lunch.  Mike and I came as arranged to meet at the corner where the women gather each day in hopes of finding a cleaning job,  most of which are in homes of Hasidic Jews who live in the area.  When we found our way to the corner and Yadira there were many women milling about, waiting and hoping for work that day.  It was already 11:30 am.  Some may have already worked once that day.

Day laborers in Williamsburg

We found Yadira and with her were Angel and Maria, both of whom work with the Worker's Justice Project.  The women gathered around us.  We were so different that we stuck out.  Yadira introduced me and I gave a little speech about myself, my sabbatical and wishing them well in their lives and thanking them for their attention.  Yadira, Angel and Maria then led us to a Mexican restaurant where we could talk and we had a wonderful meal and a very animated conversation about the conditions under which these women work, the work that Yadira and her team are doing to ameliorate the conditions and their hopes and dreams for the future.

Maria, Yadira and Angel.  All three are from Mexico.  

I wanted to spend the rest of the day talking with them.  We all had to go our separate ways sadly for me.  I heard from Yadira today.  She asked if I would be writing about our visit on my blog because they need publicity.  They felt that it was a relief to have a real conversation and not to have to speak in sound bites about their work.  I decided to make their story a priority for today's writing.

They told me the story of the really poor conditions under which the women labor.  The Hasidic tradition is to clean all floors on hands and knees and to use harmful chemicals to do that to make sure they are as clean as possible.  They hire the day laborers to clean anywhere from 2-8 hours a day and much of the work is done on their hands and knees on hard surfaces.  Yadira shared with me some of the physical damage that is being observed in the workers.  They have seen a number of women who have hardened calluses on their knees that impact their ability to walk.  They see raw skin from the hands all the way up the arms that do not heal and are being irritated daily by harmful, and possibly carcinogenic chemical cleaners.  They know of women who organs are being permanently pushed in because of the position they must maintain for hours at a time on their hands and knees.  Cleaning synagogue floors may take a full eight hours when done on hands and knees.  They report a more frequent rate of miscarriages than one might expect and postulated that the daily exposure to cleaning chemicals and the constant position of being on hands and knees may contribute.  

The Worker's Justice Project is working with the women on several fronts.  They are giving the workers who will come a 10 hour OHSA training on the recognition and use of harmful chemicals.  They are addressing intimidation in the workplace and standing against being asked to do things that are unsafe.  They are also teaching them about worker rights.  They are creating a housekeeping guide for both employers and workers and are making some progress on identifying leaders within the Hassidic community who can help that community be part of the solution.  They have begun a campaign entitled Stand Up to Clean Up that says it all.  The art work is great.  Take a look at the pictures and the stories.  It is a campaign that makes sense and the time is now for action!  I admire that the Worker's Justice Project has formed a cleaner's cooperative.   Maria was the first member.  She began as a day laborer on the corner.  She enrolled in English and computer classes through the Worker's Justice Center and is now the bookkeeper for the cooperative.  She uses Excel.  I was impressed because I have still not mastered Excel.  She has become a spokesperson for the group.  Maria is from  the state of Puebla, Mexico.  There is a large group of immigrants from Puebla in the NYC area.  Most are recent immigrants.  

The work with the women is only one of the things these devoted folks do.  I was really inspired and grateful to get a closer look at this project. I would like to have had time to shadow Yadira for a week.  I asked Yadira and Angel about their stories and passions.  We ran out of time before I could hear much from Angel who studied business in college and who was applying that the work on labor and social justice.  Yadira helped co-found the Worker's Justice Project after being involved with the plight of the day laborer when her husband became involved.  She got involved in an organization for day laborers that she loved because it connected her with the community.  When it closed, she used her organizational skills to help found the Worker's Justice Project with Executive Director, Ligia  Guapia.  One of the most gratifying parts of conversation came when I asked Yadira what about the work she does makes her most hopeful.  She answered:

• She really wants to see changes and to see the workers protected under the law. She wants the law to be enforced for safety and dignity.
• She wants women to retrieve what they have lost (in coming to this country, working as virtual slaves under very harmful conditions, etc).  She said that "our country (Mexico) has failed us and this country (US) has failed us.  I want these women to believe in themselves and to know they deserve support.  This is hard work - you have to be emotionally and psychologically healthy to survive."  

She stated as had KC and others across this journey that social justice is very important.  Social justice is not something that lip service fixes.  Taking real steps can make a difference.  The Worker's Justice Center is one beacon for that work.  I was really glad I took KC's advice and reached out to Yadira.  My visit with in Williamsburg was one of the many highlights of my trip to NYC.

I thought I would close with two more pictures.  KC shared her art work with me.  She goes to the Folk School in North Carolina each year and she has been using printing on fabric to connect her work life with her art.

What the day laborers deserve.

The last is a piece of glass art that greeted us when we stepped off the subway at Marcy Avenue to  meet Yadira after an awesome trip over the Williamsburg Bridge.

Beauty is everywhere.

My next post will focus on my visit with the CUCE-NYC group.

Thanks for reading.

Home at last

We are home from New York City.  Over the next few days I will be posting my reflections of what I learned during my stay there.  It was a rich experience.  I am glad to be home for a time of reading, reflection, writing and sleeping in my own bed.  I have missed home and I am grateful to be here for awhile.

Mike and I visited the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island the day before we flew home.

Ellis Island

Looking up at Lady Liberty

I was really glad we took the time to explore what and why the statue of liberty is.  It is an engineering marvel thanks to the ingenious Monsieur Eiffel who used his bridge building skills to create the infrastructure for the copper exterior.   The statue is so iconic and has so many meanings for people in our country and for those entering our country.  It was well worth the visit and was related to my study of the immigration experience.  I took a picture of one of the many pieces of art that were done over the years that interpreted the immigration experience.  The one I choose to share represents some of the things I have been learning on this sabbatical.

Who do we hold captive?

I will let the image of liberty as prison speak for itself.

We also took time to see a Broadway play.  I was really encouraged by almost everyone, native New Yorker or not, to go to Broadway.  We bit the bullet (tickets are spendy, even half price) and went to see "It's Only a Play."  We were not disappointed.  It exceeded my expectations.  I am still remembering it and was really glad I witnessed first class acting and comedic timing that was impeccable.

I wanted to let you dear readers know that Mike and I are doing the service at our church, Bellingham Unitarian Fellowship next Sunday, May 3rd.  Our theme is Immigration Injustice.  Here is a brief description:

Immigration Injustice: Reflections from faithful witness at the southern border.

Drew and Mike Betz, Speakers

Drew and Michael were members of a BorderLinks Delegation sponsored by the UU College of Social Justice in Tucson in February, 2015.  They spent four days studying and witnessing the issues of injustice, broken policies and modern samaritan efforts to save lives and dignity in the harsh desert of the Southwest.  They will reflect on some of the images and stories they brought home through reading and first hand experience and ask the questions: Why should we care if the system is broken? What is our role as a community of faith and as individuals of conscience? How can we respond Border to Border?

The service begins at 10:30 a.m.  If you are close by we would love for you to join us.  Directions can be found on the website, linked above.  Most services are also recorded if you are inspired to listen.

I leave you with some other images of NYC.

New York City Library, one of many jaw dropping images.

Riding the F Line

Sleeping on the way home

One of my favorite subway art pieces, taken at the Marcy Avenue station in Brooklyn. Made of glass this piece was in the open air and the light shone through it.

As always, thanks for reading.